Robert Weiss often gets asked, “What’s a healthy frequency for sex?” As a behavioral therapist and sex addiction specialist, he should have an answer, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t have an answer because specialists still remain puzzled by how to answer the question. A quick search across a few search engines will yield conflicting data, and worse, confusing statistics. So what’s considered healthy?
Sex-tistics
Most married couples have sex bi-weekly; others bi-annually, and from data gathered by the General Social Survey, the average couple has sex 58 times a year. Now before you worry over the data, just note that several factors will influence your sexual behavior. And because the GSS averages numbers from 25-year-olds to 60-year-olds, the data will not portray an accurate representation of your behavior. Not by a long shot. Here’s why: Sexual behaviors vary with age.
Factors That Influence Your Sex Life
You might read the number 58 and think, hell, I’m lucky if I have sex once a month! Fear not, your under-sexed life may be caused by several factors, including
All of these factors can influence your desires for sex. For example, a couple whose average age is 38 may have less sex than a couple whose average age is 21. The same can be said for an older couple with higher stress levels than a younger pair. Stress, age, hormones and even physical health will influence sexual patterns.
Satisfaction Level
You might find having sex once a month enough, or you might not. Your satisfaction levels will depend on the above-mentioned factors. Individuals irked by the amount of sex should carry out the following:
- Speak to your partner
- Plan how many times a month or week sex will occur, but more importantly, pick at random to prevent your sex life from becoming routine
- Plan a trip to improve sex
- Speak to a physician if hormone levels may be affecting sexual desires
So to answer your question: What is a healthy frequency for sex? Well, the amount depends on you and your partner. Some couples may want sex daily; others monthly. If you’re content with your current satisfaction, no need to worry. If your partner feels frustrated, then worry.